He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
