dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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