Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your penis caused this!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
