Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
