im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
