you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
