Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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