I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize