Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
