Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
