I want to have your abortion
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
