She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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