butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
