It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
