In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
