just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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