I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
