people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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