It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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