the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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