I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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