today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
