am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
