We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
