Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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