I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize