oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
