i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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