Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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