Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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