Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
