I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
