Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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