I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
