Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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