Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
