Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
