You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
