I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
