i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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