im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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