I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
