I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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