He kissed a someone with a penis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
