Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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