shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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