I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
