if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
