Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
