; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
