its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
