You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
