I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
