and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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