if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He has the fingertips of a God
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
