yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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