He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
