John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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