drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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