am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
