): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
