Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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