this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
