How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
